2008

At Home on the Road

            Recently, I was talking to an acquaintance about running. “Basically, I run so I can...

Nelly has started us thinking: is it possible for a dog to...

Bitchface Wins

            I hate social posturing. That doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of it, but it’s like eating an...

Bram Hanson

            I was walking past the tennis courts at our pool club when I overheard a group of...

Tattoo

            I have a tattoo. It’s on my back, near my right shoulder blade. I got it several years...

Here’s Jake! I happen to know that he’s jumping off the...

Name Game

            What’s in a name? Nicole Kidmann, a native of Flushing Meadows, enjoyed the attention...

Gone

            Over the weekend, we got robbed. We went to visit some friends for several hours, during...

You Decide

            On CBS radio this morning, there was an ad for one of those car donation organizations....

Caboose

Yesterday, Micah turned fifteen. While I was running around trying to get a party together I thought...

Balancing Act

            Yesterday, Sam and I went into Manhattan to help Hannah move from her apartment on the...

Point Taken

Lately, and with more frequency, I have been finding myself in the middle of arguments when I...

Thoughts On My Colonoscopy

1. BAD IDEA: My attempt to run to the grocery store after taking the prescribed laxative drink. The...

Our Sectional: The Sunset Years

            I just want to get take a sentimental moment to say goodbye to our old sectional couch....

Snap!

            I was in the check-out aisle at the grocery store yesterday, and I caught a glimpse of...

Wimbledon

            I just finished watching the Wimbledon men’s finals, and my God, am I exhausted! I know...

Car Talk

            My girls run on local streets and are frequently beset by that bewildering breed of...

Associative Properties

            This week, Turkey Hill ice cream was on sale, so I bought two cartons. While this might...

Basic Instinct II

Just now, I was listening to a psychologist on NPR. The subject was self-destructive habitual...

Problem Solved

            When Micah turned fourteen, I started doing everything wrong. I don’t know why, because...

Li'l Buddy

            In the kennel where our dog Nelly stayed this past weekend, they sell a variety of dog...

Love

            We just got back from Pennsylvania.  We were at a wedding, specifically, my nephew...

It's Not Great Art

            Jake and Amir were featured in this week’s Us magazine, so I happily picked up a copy....

About Last Night...

            The other night Sam and I were in Manhattan for a benefit for the Partnership for Public...

I just came across this hideous old Poloroid, which proves...

Judge Judy

She may just be the scariest person on the entire planet, and if not the planet, then certainly on...

Hair

            My hair is long. Not freakishly Guiness Book long, but long enough, within a few inches...

Drama!

             There was some drama at the DMB concert in Saratoga Springs on Friday...

If You Only Read One Poem Today...

I know I blog about killing off annoying people, animals, and insects, but in real life, I’m a...

Open House

            Last night, my friend Marilyn threw a surprise party for her husband Dave.              ...

Representing

            I hated high school. I considered it a federally-mandated purgatory where adolescents...

            When we made the decision to donate our old...

Fan

             I’m a Dave Matthews Band fan.              It’s not like I follow them coast to coast...

This is the Sam I met in high school.  He listened to Bob...

 I now suspect that Jennifer Aniston is out to prove that...

Here, Now

            Multi-tasking seems to be a skill critical to leading a successful modern life. People...

I came across this in a recent issue of the San Francisco...

Minor Annoyances, Major Catastophies

            Last night, I was in New York for dinner with some of my work colleagues. The day had...

Sex Ed

            My mother is a lovely woman, a sweet throwback to a time when sex was considered a...

Good To Know

I had just picked Jake up from the train station in New Haven and we were on our way home. Passing...

Valedictorians, Listen Up

            I have some advice for those writing graduation speeches. While people finding...

Suzanne

            That blond cupcake of a girl sitting between me and my brother in yesterday’s post is my...

            Sometimes we need to examine our past to truly...

Definitions of Hell

Based on today’s real life experiences, two versions: Hell One:  For all eternity I am forced to...

Warning

            I was in the grocery store this morning, making my way down the shampoo aisle when an...

Perspective

I don’t know what this says about me- probably nothing good- but why is it that I can seemingly...

Turn On?

               Can someone please explain this to me?             While driving on the highway,  I...

For Nicole

               Yesterday morning, I’d just come back from a bicycle ride.  It was a beautiful day,...

Editorial Advice

               I work for an editor who recently told me that I am barred from using the word...

reminder

since feeling is first  since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will...

Regis and Kelly

               I have only watched the Regis and Kelly Show a couple of times so it’s not like I’m...

   I came across another striking image from the African...

Motivation

              I just finished reading Exposed, the cover story in the New York Times Magazine this...

Inscription for a War  Linger not, stranger, shed no...

Married To The Mouse Killer

            This past spring, I was watching an episode of Law and Order when I thought I saw...

Appropriate Attire

               I was driving Micah to a friend’s house when he asked me what I was going to wear...

Cathy

               One thing about living in the same town you grew up in is that you are constantly...

Personal Plug for Sarah McIntyre! Check out Sarah...

   While attempting to organize my file cabinet I came...

Colonoscopy

              I just got back from the prescreening appointment for my colonoscopy. Obviously, a...

Addiction

               I admit it; I am addicted to caffeine. Specifically, caffeine derived from coffee. As...

The Orchard

              I went to a memorial service for my aunt yesterday. I hoped that I’d sense her in the...

Nelly

              People assume our dog Nelly is male, which is entirely understandable, since Nelly...

For A Change

   I spent last weekend with a group of friends. On the first day the cold, wind-swept rain all but...

  Back in 1980, guys and girls got together using a...

The Name Certainly Fits

              I never liked soap operas. Not only is the acting terrible, I find myself in a state...

Cellulite

   There’s a disturbing new trend in supermarket tabloid journalism: cellulite stalking. In an...

My kids didn’t give me anything on Mother’s Day....

Relax, Mom

                  On the ferry ride home yesterday, I recalled one of my all-time favorite Nantucket...

   This is not a shameless plug for my award-winning travel...

Bee Story

               I was working at my computer when I heard the angry buzzing of a bee. He had managed...

Tyra(nny)

               Last summer, my daughter Eliza got four tickets to a taping of The Tyra Banks Show....

  Jake loved dressing up so much so that it’s virtually...

Retraction

              Remember the teaching job I didn’t get last week?  Well, I just begun to truly embrace...

Crafts

               Four times a year, I am asked by my publisher to write a newsletter for the kids who...

Bird

               This morning, just after 6 A.M., Sam and I were roused from slumber by a little...

   Looking at this picture of everyone in the kitchen in...

Letter to The New Yorker

     Dear Fiction Editor:               I familiarized myself with your publication. I assumed your...

When I started writing the Riley kid’s book series, the...

Over It

               I’m  happy to report that after yesterday’s brief foray into self-pity, I am feeling...

Breaking News

I just found out I didn’t get the private school teaching job I was up for. Initially, I spent some...

Served

  We belong to the New Haven Lawn Club, which sounds pretentious but it’s actually just a place that...

I was lucky enough to travel to South Africa to write a book...

Parenting

In high school, Jake was known to throw the occasional wild party. One day I came across evidence of...

Wifeswap Placement

                I admit it; I have this fascination with the television show Wifeswap. Embarrassing,...

Common Scold

I was in an awful mood last night. I was picking fights and getting annoyed with everyone,...

This is my all-time favorite photograph of me and my husband...

Bidet

               In the late seventies, I was sent to Paris with another novice model named Katy...

Adding Insult to Injury

  The hit-and-run driver yelled out his window to his victim, who lay in a crumpled heap at the side...

Note to James Blunt

              I realize this is around two years too late to be at all topical, but I was in the car...

  This is the photo we selected for our holiday card. We had...

It's Not Even On The Menu, Kid

               I just had lunch with my friend Ann, who told me a story that actually caused me...

The Good Samaritan

               Our hometown weekly newspaper ran a story a couple of years ago about how the high...

Rock of Love Qs and As

               Q. Where is Bret Michaels’ hair in relation to his bandana?             A. Sewn...

  In 1992, there was a nation-wide casting call for the role...

Pseudo Professional Opinion

                It might be that my hearing stinks or I’m just not paying attention, but I often...

One Notable Exception

             I think it’s pretty lame when songwriters mess with the conventional order of words in...

  It’s interesting to compare the way European photographers...

Car Trouble

                Have you ever noticed that when you’re trying to escape from a serial killer or...

Kumbaya, Sucker

               I was driving back from Manhattan today. It was almost rush hour, and the traffic was...

Subliminally Confusing

               I just got back from the grocery store, which might have been unremarkable except for...

On A More Serious Note

              I have an interview for a teaching position on Wednesday. I’m excited, because I...

Utopia

            Guess what? I’m not the only Bill Clinton fan in my family. Earlier today, I uncovered...

Observation

  Robin’s egg blue is such a cheerful, vibrant color! This makes it ironic that every time I see it...

Bill Clinton's Head

             We were on Nantucket a few summers ago. The island buzz was that the Clintons had flown...

Look Again, Buffalo

BUFF ARTSALO  This is how the front page text was arranged on the weekly Buffalo, New York arts...

  These are my daughters Rachael, Sarah, and Eliza, a.k.a....

Lighten Up, Micah

   Micah came downstairs this morning and I told him Nelly, our dog, was hit by a pick-up truck. I...

Jake told me he bought a pair of Converse All-Stars...

The Real Deal

              I am not a fan of the show “Deal or No Deal”. For one thing, it doesn’t require any...

F.P.S.

              I spent this weekend chaperoning my son Micah at a Future Problem Solving competition....

The majority of the businesses in Costa Rica are...

Impulse Control

            Jake was in fourth grade when I got a call from the school nurse.             “Mrs....

Alumni Notes

  I was reading through my college alumni magazine the other day. It is eminently skimmable, hardly...

You Might Not Want to Eat That

               I think it’s pretty safe to say that cocktail parties are best suited to adults. If...

This is a photo of me and Hannah, shortly before our tenure...

Surprise Travel Tips

               The first day of my trip to Costa Rica was full of surprises. The first and perhaps...

Costa Rica

               I’m leaving for Costa Rica tomorrow! I’m really excited. I’d be even more excited if,...

Sportsmanship

   I went to my son Micah’s soccer game last night. The opposing team was rough and obnoxious. Their...

After the Fall

              Last night, my book group weighed in on the main topic of tri-state area conversation:...

I was a Ford model in the late 70’s and early...

We moved to a farmhouse out in the country when Jake was...

Loyalty

               I went to see my dermatologist today. She doesn’t like to waste time on actual...

Show and Tell

   My oldest daughter, Hannah, has always had a great imagination. One day when she was around three...

Admission

   My kids would occasionally mispronounce words and I wouldn’t correct them. In fact, I’d sometimes...

The Party Pack

               My son Micah had a couple of friends sleep over last night. After breakfast, they...

For Future Reference

   I don’t exactly command respect, but that’s fine with me. I don’t even want respect, because...

The Uterus Monologues

            From time to time I get asked to simplify scientific facts for the children’s books I...

The Tipping Point

I’ve been working on a young adult novel for three weeks, and today I reached the tipping point....

Dream

            Last night I had a dream that I was sitting at my computer editing text. Not only was it...

Protocol

            It occurs to me that there’s no protocol for farting in yoga class, and there really...

Interstate Karma

            Driving on the highway the other day, I was maintaining my passing lane speed of 80 mph...

Betcha Didn't Know. And Pretty Moving,...

Did you know the word “hobo” is likely derived from the syllabic abbreviation of “homeward bound”? I...

Fictional Characters Come Out For...

I found it impossible not to respond to J.K. Rowling’s announcement last year that Dumbledore was...

Heard On Air

    A CBS Radio news anchor announced yesterday that Michael Jackson shares the exact same problem...

Opinion

I showed yesterday’s post to my husband, Sam. He said he found the ending “a little mean.” “Yeah,...

Middle School Drop Off

This morning I drove my son to school. The drop-off line is long, and operates by tacit protocol, or...

Risk

Growing up, the concept of risk was fraught with negative connotations. My parents stressed...